Inspiration. A Maine Photographer

Every year, for the past six years I have blogged on February 10.  I have blogged about my sister Carmen.  February 10th is her birthday.

Carmen died in December of 2009, after a long illness.  At that time I was just beginning my photography journey as a professional.  My work has grown so much in six years, that one thing I know with certainty is if I had asked Carmen to allow me to document her journey and bring awareness and knowledge to her struggles, I believe she would have embraced it.  I truly wish she was here today to share with me...her journey...and my journey.  She will always be an inspiration to me.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I was going to be posting some photos of people who have brought me inspiration this past year.  I have more to share, so I will continue to do so in the next few posts.  I started this particular blog series in preparation for a photography inspiration retreat I would be attending.  I attended Inspire last year and couldn't wait to do it again.

Inspiration can and does come in all forms.
Last year I met Vy.
She greeted me when I walked into the hotel for the Inspire convention.  A little welcoming committee all on her own.  She invited me to sit on the sofa with her and talk.  Vy is from Vietnam and her English is very good, and although my middle aged ears kept asking her to repeat she never seemed frustrated with me and always repeated whenever asked.  We became friends instantly, and touched base throughout the event.

Once home, Vy and I became facebook friends, and then I started to see a glimpse of her life as a whole, not just the young photographer I met.

Again, inspiration comes in all ways.

Vy is a young Wife.
Vy is a Mom to a very special little girl named Tamara who has SMA.
Vy has a facebook page Rolling with SMA to educate and share.
Vy started her photography business because she has to be a stay at home Mom.
Vy is always learning how to communicate in English, both spoken and written.
...and if all of this isn't inspiration enough...
Vy is a positive, smiling, energetic bundle of fun!
Vy is fearless!
Pardon my English Vy, but you are a badass!
You, are an inspiration.  :)

Vy and I just reconnected at Inspire 2016 this past week in Newport RI
Vy submitted her work to be critiqued by some amazing photographers.  In her words, she was in the "hot seat"
Vy is a badass...and an inspiration.

Enjoying Life. A Maine Photographer.

9 years ago this week I received that phone call no one wishes to receive.  The one that begins with "We received your biopsy results and yes you have cancer."

huh?

"Y O U    H A V E    C A N C E R"

huh?

ya, the huh is me.
but you told me not to worry? ... you told me 75% of these are nothing...
huh?

ya...then the very next sentence I hear goes something like this

You will need to choose a surgeon.  If you don't know one we can recommend one.  BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH

it is totally true.  The rest is pretty fuzzy.

I do remember they told me it was considered stage zero, so it had been caught extremely early and therefore the prognosis was excellent.
I do remember being given a choice of a lumpectomy or a mastectomy.

Wait a minute!  If this was caught so early then why are my choices so drastic?

I would never live my life the same again.
I'm a little bit free-er :)
I'm a bit more positive :)
I'm definitely happier.

Oh, and the surgeon they recommended, his name was Dr Tom Brady.
Yes please.

I bought myself a gift this week to celebrate, and hung it above my mirror, so that I see it everyday.
Life is good.

I am happy to share my story...all of it...just let me know.  The real celebration date is May 17, that will be 9 years cancer free, so we have plenty of time to plan :)

My Sister's Birthday. An Inspired Cup Filling Maine Photographer

Every year since my sister Carmen died I have blogged on her birthday, February 10th.  No need to double check your calendar, I'm a bit behind this year, but all with good reason.

This year I chose to attend Inspire.
Inspire is a little get-a-way retreat for photographers.
A little "cup filling" for the soul

Cup filling.

When my kids were babies, my husband and I agreed to let them go to our employers daycare.  It was pricey, and my part time salary didn't even cover the costs, but we both agreed that the boys would lead a richer childhood exposed to other adults and other kids then they would staying home with me watching Y&R.  Our employers daycare was an accredited little school and we enjoyed a few perks as parents, including an occasional guest speaker with sage advice for new parents.  Hands down, the best advice we ever received had to do with that hell hour...you know the one...when you pick up the kids from daycare and get home and try to start supper.  Why was that crazy hour?  Ugly hour?
OMG get me out of here hour?

Simple.
Our boys needed their cup filled.
Undivided attention.
They needed to know we were there for them.  They needed us to sit with them.  Hold them.  Just be there for them.  They hadn't seen us all day.
Fill their cup.

Sometimes cup filling took just a few minutes.

That advice changed our routine.  Now, nearly 20 years later my husband and I continue to use that phrase, but we are usually referring it to me or to our dogs.

The Inspire photographers retreat was cup filling for my photography business soul.  It was emotional.  It was exhausting.  It was soul searching.  It was sharing.  It was vulnerable.  It was tiring.  It was fun.

So, back to my sister Carmen.
She was with me throughout the retreat.  I took one of Carmen's journals with me to use for notes.
Carmen would have loved Inspire.
Happy Birthday Carmen :)
I am inspired.
My inspirational cup is full

Chloe Golden Retriever. A Maine Photographer

This blog post has been planned for over two years, but today is the day I write it.
This blog post is all about Chloe, our beautiful golden retriever, and how she and her destiny became such a big part of our family.
Timing.  It was all about the timing.

Chloe was born on December 6, 2009.
Her litter name is "Third times a charm"
because her Mom Macy was bred three times before she got pregnant.
Because her Mom was such a great dog, the breeder chose "Third times a charm" to continue her moms legacy, and chose her to be one of her guardian dogs to breed in the future.

December 6, 2009
My "big" sister Carmen died.
Carmen had been sick for a number of years, but I certainly had not prepared myself for her death.
Carmen was my only sister.  We grew up together.  How could she be gone?

December 30, 2009
My dog Tasha died.
Tasha was the only dog I ever owned.  We chose Tasha when Joshua was just a year old.  Although I told my husband Tasha was his dog, she very much became my dog.  I worked part time, and spent a great deal of time with Tasha and the boys.  We all grew up together :)

This was a very sad January and my heart was truly broken.  My husband started poking around the internet looking for a Golden Retriever.  I wasn't ready and asked him if he would just put us on a waiting list to get a rescue golden.  Just about everyday or every other day I would catch him poking around on the internet...and I would just say..."I'm not ready"
I wasn't ready in more than one way.  My heart was truly broken, but my wallet was hurting too.  We had spent a fair share of money on medical bills for Tasha, and purchasing a purebred was not really an option.  But my husband kept searching.  His heart was broken too...
and then one day he said to me "what if I told you I found a new litter of golden retrievers and they were born on the day Carmen died?"
To this day I'm sure my mouth was hanging open, and I said "I would tell you that you better get me one of those puppies"

The rest is kind of history for us.  My husband contacted the breeder, Rushell at Snowy Paw Golden Retrievers to see what we could do to get one of those puppies.  We shared our baggage and how we needed time to raise some funds and she asked us if we would meet with her to discuss some options.  We couldn't wait!  We met with her and she explained her guardian program.  Rushell has since made changes to the program, but the readers digest version of it is we could have a guardian puppy to keep in exchange for breeding privileges.  And once said breeding took place our guardian dog would go live with the breeder during the birth of the puppies and for eight weeks thereafter.

This brings us to today, and why I have waited a few years to write this post.  Chloe, at the age of four, has just had her first litter...and is currently living with the breeder.  Our house is so quiet and we miss her dearly, but we are so proud of our happy Mama dog!
...and a few fun facts about Chloe
We named her Chloe after my sister, Carmen Lowe.
We started adding the word "butt" to her name...right from the beginning because she packed a powerful stench to her poops...it started as Stinkybutt, then came Snowybutt, but mostly it's just Chloebutt.  
Chloe pretty much lived up to her mom's reputation on the difficulty of getting pregnant and was able to have this litter after being artificially inseminated this past January.
We hope to breed her again at the end of 2014 to fulfill our contract, and very much hope to be able to raise one of her future pups.

 

Coco the Dog. A Maine Photographer

I feel it's been awhile since I posted, and yet I have so much to say...well...there isn't a good enough reason for me to explain without making excuses...so here's  to a new strategy...post once a week...every Wednesday perhaps?...yes...I will try.

The photos I'm sharing with you today are of Coco.  I took them about a month ago, so of course I can't remember lots of the details...including that I can't remember if he was a she...but I'm pretty sure Coco is a he...I'm pretty sure he's 13 years old...and I'm pretty sure he's a chocolate lab...but I'm going to send this link to his Mom Julie, of Portland, and she will let me know if I need to update these simple but important things I've just stated.

I do remember my conversation with Julie over the phone, when I told her that she was the monthly dog portrait winner from Minor Moments Photography and the Dog Wash Etc and Julie told me that her daughter would be going into labor at any moment and that she was expecting her first grandchild...but that her dog was 13 years old and so I told her I was available RIGHT NOW because her daughter was not yet in labor, but that her dog was 13 and really, there was no time to waste!  Julie agreed to meet me at Jewel Falls just a few hours later so we could do a small photo shoot with Coco.

We met at Julie's house, and I got to meet her two cats also...yah yah....you guessed it...I don't remember their names either...but I think her kids call the black and white one cow?...Julie forgive me...and feel free to set me straight!  (heck...I'm assuming we have a baby name by now too...and I won't even venture a guess on name...or boy or girl for that matter...)  Yes, I'm pathetic when it comes to remembering certain things, but I truly do make up for it in the images I capture.  I am certain to capture a memory that will last your lifetime and beyond...because that is how important the "Coco's"and "Cows" of our lives are...it's their sweet faces and their eyes that we will look back and remember fondly how they filled our busy lives with love and joy.

 ...and lastly, I'm dedicating this blog post to one of my new friends, who already has become a dear friend...yet I didn't even know she had a dog...and she is currently dealing with the anguish of having had to say goodbye forever to her dog.  I'm not in the habit of asking my new friends if they have a dog and to please let me photograph their dog for them...so I'm putting it out there again...to all of you who have pets, please know that my business and pleasure is to capture forever moments for you.  I am honored...and blessed.  I was searching through my own blog, so I could share with my friend the words I put down when I grieved the death of my own beloved Tasha three years ago.  Tasha was the first and only dog I ever had.  In researching this morning I realized that I never did complete a blog post on losing Tasha.  I never shared some of the many photos I have of her...and I never eulogize her in my blog.  The pain was great, but I had also lost my big sister just three weeks earlier and I remember feeling torn of how to express my grief differently over a sibling and a pet.  Three and a half years later I have discovered that I must not have been able to do it, so I chose not too.  I believe I am ready now.  I have unfinished business to attend to, and it appears blogging material for next Wednesday...I hope you will visit again soon!

The photos below are of Coco and the cats...who shall for now remain nameless.

Remembering to be Grateful, Today and Everyday. A Maine Photographer

OK, I'm taking a quick break from my normal routine to remember to be grateful...and today I am choosing to share it with you.
As I sit here typing, I'm hearing the new Pope, Pope Francis, who has just been introduced to the world for the first time, I'm hearing his words of gratefulness on the TV next to me.
Today I am grateful to have friends to share my blog with, my stories, my life.
I am grateful for my husband and my kids.  I am grateful for my dog Chloe, who still hasn't let the cute stud mount her yet.  I'm grateful for the crock pot lasagna I made this morning, so that I can work this afternoon knowing that supper is already made.

Now, here's a new one.  Something I've never really expressed gratitude for...until now.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to teach my passion of digital photography to others.  I'm teaching my third round of digital photography at the local community center.  Again, if you know me, I've expressed many times my love for Jim Carrey's movie "Yes Man" and on a few occasions I have challenged myself to say "yes" to whatever comes my way.  Last fall was one of those times, and when asked if I would teach an "introduction to your digital camera" class, I said "yes" without hesitation.  After saying yes I learned that I would have very limited resources at my disposal...basically I would have a classroom with electricity and tables and chairs.  What I didn't have was Internet or even a big screen to share info on.  It was a learning experience for both my students and myself, as I taught with very little visual aids, and I shared lots of info through emails and links after class.  When asked if I would do it again, this time with a large screen I could hook my laptop too and Internet access, I didn't even hesitate to say yes.  Now here I sit, half a year later, in the middle of my third round of classes. 

OK. I'm going to get personal.  I am insecure.  I am not a teacher.  I'm not the greatest photographer that walks the streets of Westbrook.  I do think I'm somewhat of a comedian.  I do try to follow the law of attraction and live on the "positive" side of life...however, I still am my own worst enemy when it comes to believing in myself.  I do believe one needs to step out of their comfort zone to succeed.  I do believe that everything happens for a reason.  Today I am grateful for saying "yes" last fall to teaching photography. 

So, what brought on this recent revelation? 

Her name is Elizabeth, and she was a student in my last photography class.  Elizabeth received a very nice camera for Christmas, a gift from her husband.  Elizabeth showed up at the first class carrying her new camera, still in the box it was purchased in.  She said she had no idea what to do with it.  That was then.  This past weekend I saw photos on Elizabeth's facebook page...and that's when it hit me.  I may not be the best photographer that walks the streets of Westbrook, but I do have a gift of sharing my knowledge.  Chinese Proverb "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime"
So, am I worried that I will teach you all so well that there will be no need to hire me to take photos?

"Yes"

I suppose I can just keep teaching.
I asked Elizabeth to let me share her photos.
Don't you dare ask me what kind of camera she has!
Most cameras can do the same thing...you just need to have a good teacher who will teach you how to operate it.  I will add that the "vision" and "creativity" seen in these photos is all Elizabeth's, that, I cannot take credit for!
I taught Elizabeth how to use her very nice camera...and today I am grateful  :)